august 13th, 2025 - first entry
Hiya! I've finally strung together enough stolen HTML to make a cute-ish blog page that I like. I just wanted to make a quick entry to talk about my first sober day in a while. Wowie! Good job Hazel.
I need to think about what to do when I get a craving for alcohol. Today, what held me back from drinking was that I simply didn't have enough money (lol), but I need a more definite strategy. I should come up with a mantra for it. I've been starting to write mantras or "prayers" for me to manifest. Saying what you want and what you believe is powerful! Especially if I'm able to do it every day. I've been thinking about religions more, pulling some learnings from Buddhism. The more I learn about Buddhism though, I start to get a little more disappointed in it. I think I just placed too much expectation and preconceived notions on it. I thought that it would save my life and provide me a whole new purpose for my life (doesn't quite look like that's happening) I think I have to do that part myself. I've been kind of trying to take in multiple teachings and beliefs that I have, and forming "my own religion."
I am excited about this though, it's such a fun way for me to express myself. I also think it'll be cool to see my website slowly get bigger and better. The motivation for this for me comes much more naturally than my other pursuits at hobbies. I think it's because it's such a powerful medium. I mean you can really do anything! I also find myself really drawn to open-source, free things like this, it's very spiritually commie.
It also lets me journal so yay! and I don't even have to use a pencil :)
A cringe problem that I've been running into is when people ask me what my hobbies are, I don't really have much to say... Smash? That's kind of a non-starter for most people. Honestly my hobbies at this very moment are binge drinking and doomscrolling twitter... not good... Now hopefully I can spend my time in a more productive way!
TO DO LIST: